Part 2 - how to climb over the ‘wall of awful’

Last week I posted about the neurodivergent ‘wall of awful’.

This has come up a number of times with clients this week.

I wanted to post a strategy to help with this.

The ladder!

What this does:

• It helps to validate there is a wall there in the first place

• Allows the emotion it brings

• Helps you to know there is a way forwards and the steps to take

• Gives time to consider what you want to find on the other side and the dopamine release.

It can seem like a simple task, so why don’t we just get started?

The ‘wall of awful’ and how it can sabotage the neurodivergent experience. 

The wall of awful is a phrase that can shed some light and validate this experience for many neurodivergent people, especially those of us with ADHD.

When we do a task, we aren’t just dealing with that one task. 

We are dealing with a whole list of past experiences (maybe seen as failures by ourselves) that create often unpleasant emotions. 

Feelings that we would like to avoid again at all costs.

The reality of today’s methods of communication can feel overwhelming for many neurodivergent people. This in turn can create a shame spiral.

Many of my clients want help with managing this issue as it brings up many aspects of their neurodivergence. 

What looks like “not texting back,” being inconsistent, or avoiding plans is often something very different beneath the surface.

For some, texting creates a unique kind of pressure. 

There’s time to overthink, no facial reassurance, and no way to gauge tone or emotional response. This can make a simple message feel like a high-stakes interaction.

ADHD & the ‘funk’: why body-mind balance matters (and why it’s hard)

If you live with ADHD, you’ll likely know the funk I’m talking about…

That sense of being totally out of sync—mentally overstimulated but physically flatlined. ️ Maybe you’ve been hyperfocused for hours on something mentally gripping, but realise you haven’t eaten, moved, or even had a glass of water. Your brain is buzzing… but your body? Neglected.

And when the body is undernourished, under-moved, and under-cared for—our emotional regulation can quickly unravel. Anxiety ramps up. Everything feels off.So what helps?

I work with many late diagnosed neurodivergent adults. 

For many of us this has resulted in years of masking to find more socially acceptable ways to present ourselves.

Many clients want to discover their authentic selves, but find this hard as rumination and self checking behaviours are so automatic. Many struggle to unmask with themselves.

However, what if our imagination can be the key to unlocking our authentic selves?

The body and brain learn how to keep us safe, and masking is a part of the survival process. To unlearn these safety behaviours can feel scary, so what if this happened in a safe way?

Alcohol is given as a solution so often in our society.

To enhance enjoyment, celebrate success, drown our sorrows, take the edge off the day. 

For ADHD there is an additional challenge.

What if all these messages from society also show alcohol as an acceptable way to manage the shift from activated to rest, a way of coping with the noise in a busy mind. 

I help clients to see that activation is not just a state of mind for ADHD, but also how it impacts the nervous system in responding to this level of stimulation.

Getting comfortable with being different.

Not easy when many of my clients have masked for so long. 

Our brains are wired to belong, be accepted in order to survive. 

So when we are told, or feel, we are different, it sets off alarm bells in our head at a young age.

We learn how to fit in.

Autonomy and hypnosis for neurodivergence, being creative 🎨 AuDHD and hypnosis are a wonderful combination for the creative mind. Today I enjoyed my favourite kind of hypnosis, which is collaboration on the script and the process itself. Many of us who are neurodivergent enjoy and need autonomy, so why not also have this in the creative process of developing the right hypnosis script for your mind. ☺️

Coffee and ADHD, activates or makes you sleepy? ☕️

There are many studies that show the different impacts of coffee and ADHD. 

Through my years of working with people, in many different fields, I find my practice more drawn to the physical self to give us knowledge and change. 💛

Neurodiversity is often talked about in relation to our racing minds, anxiety, overwhelm, emotion challenges, what of our physical state?

Do you want to learn more about ADHD? Maybe someone close to you thinks they have ADHD or your child is on a waiting list for a diagnosis.

What should you do if you think you have ADHD? Where should you start?

Being busy can become addictive. Then we become overwhelmed and wonder why?

IBS can cause pain and anxiety. There are many who are suffering in silence with this condition, feeling as though they have to put up with the discomfort and worry. Hypnotherapy offers a real solution to this condition, recommended by NICE as one of the go to treatments.

Discover how hypnotherapy can help you find freedom from the ongoing anxiety and pain of this condition.

The recent BBC Panorama programme has caused a damaging ripple effect for the ADHD community. It has made those adults who accessed an assessment privately feel wrong in some way and questioned the validity of their diagnosis. Many of us with ADHD also have other conditions such as autism and/or mental health issues. A programme made in this way is causing more harm to an already vulnerable sector of society. Women in particular are at risk of feeling unheard yet again as their experiences are brought into question.

Fear and anxiety are powerful feelings we experience in our brain and our body. I have experienced anxiety throughout my life and I have found that understanding my triggers and the purpose of anxiety in us as humans, allows me to navigate life more easily.

Young people with ADHD/autism can struggle to verbalise what they are experiencing and as parents we often need tools to help them regulate their feelings and responses in life.

I am feeling my fear and doing it anyway by delivering a webinar to help enable parents feel more confident to support their ADHD/autistic child.

Being a parent is one of the hardest jobs in the world. I didn’t realise I was getting things so wrong. I made many mistakes with how I parented my 3 children, unaware they were all neurodivergent. I feel most sorry about how I missed that my 17 year old daughter was autistic and had ADHD. Had I known earlier, things would have been so much easier for us all. I would have done things differently. You can’t change the past, only learn from it and that is what I have done.

Many people try to break unhealthy habits but feel they are failing each day. This is because they are not addressing one of the major causes of unhealthy habits, stress. Learn my 3 step process that works for 90% of people and say goodbye to unhealthy coping mechanisms.

We aren’t given a handbook on how to be a woman. Thankfully there are now books on how to manage the menopause but is there such a thing as too much information? Solution focused vs problem focused and the benefits of carving out the right path for you post 40.

Is stress and anxiety getting in the way of you getting good quality sleep? Or are you not getting enough sleep and that is making you stressed and anxious? We can interrupt this negative cycle by improving both. Read on for tips and tools to improve your sleep, as well as understanding more about ADHD/autism and sleep.

Endless unread emails, house repairs, unpaid bills are just a few of the tasks of life that can feel overwhelming. ADHD and autism can lead to demand avoidance and overwhelm even just by thinking about these tasks. This can lead to further stress and anxiety in life.