“I can’t let go of this feeling - I am stuck”. Neurodivergent big emotions that won’t shift.

I work with many high achieving professionals who struggle to move past a trigger of a big emotion. 

A frequent issue is when a person or a system is not following what they see as the ‘correct way’ what is ‘right’. 

Our sense of right and wrong can be hard to switch off. 

These are values that are strong. 

However when it feels as though you are stuck in a big unpleasant emotion, this can get in the way of work, family life and feel very out of control.

I find this process helps neurodivergent clients to have more agency over their intense feelings: 

(note - you may find yourself going back to step 1 in a loop - that is OK this takes practice but you will find yourself getting to step 4 easier with time)

1. Acknowledge how you feel - maybe a physical feeling, express this with words, visuals, movement. Give these feelings more detail

2. Validate - I have strong opinions on what feels right and fair, I find it hard when others don’t see this. It’s part of who I am

3. Compassion for yourself as to why you feel this way, kindness to your reactions and responses

4. Detangle what you can’t control from what you can control (have autonomy/self actualisation) eg you can’t control if the system listens, only how you internally respond 

Building confidence in how we deal with big feelings has a positive impact on self esteem and core beliefs.

#bigemotions #ADHD #autism #neurodiversity